Thursday, August 28, 2008

mission accomplished.....


i know i know u folks must be wondering what the video has to do with the title...its jus that after a trial and error method i finally know how to put videos on my blog...so now on u gonna see lots of my favourite songs and dances and movies' video clips in my blog...and am so happy to have found out the way on my own.....took a while but now the effort seems worth it :)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

congrats abhinav

first of all CONGRATULATIONS ABHINAV BINDRA winning gold in 10 m rifle shooting at olympics......i cant believe it ,its india's first individual gold ever.......u made us all proud man....keep it up, am sure you are going to win lots of laurels for india and yourself in time to come.....

just to keep you folks informed that my computer is not working and so is in servicing for another ten days minimum......so wont be able to write much till then or even come online......unless something as exciting as india winning more golds at olympics happen......

will write more about lots of stuff later....
today made ragda pattice for dinner....wanna put up the recipe and pics too....
missing my laptop......
also wishing everyone a very happy raksha bandhan and happy independence day in advance....
m gonna go to andheri over the weekend to tie rakhi to all brothers....so looking forward to a nice family get together....
miss u raja tanvi sujalben and palakdidi........

Friday, August 8, 2008

...........

The pain which was generally dull ache gnawing at my insides suddenly got acute….my body felt as if it would be better if it burst and released what was inside…..it was almost like physical pain like someone punching in your gut..the only difference was that no one could see any wound…whatever was there was within….in my heart….what seemed within reach, that was attainable became a mirage as I went closer.... Felt like it was mocking at me….i could not breathe.....suddenly all my optimistic views and hopes crushed…felt there was no point in hoping something better was actually in store for me….no bend in the road in sight.....the tunnel seemed dark...not even a faint flicker of light....had no incentive to work harder......giving up and giving in to the pain seemed easier than fighting it…..

oh ya you have said “ put in your best effort without thinking about result”…..i ask you today for how long….is one yr enough or one decade or one century or one lifetime….how much longer should I work without giving a thought to the fruit…….am I ever going to get what I am working hard for….how much more time should I be indifferent to the pain…how many more lessons have I got to learn by falling down again and again and again….

they say “you try the most whom you love the most”……sure have felt lots of your love……..wonderful way of showing your love for me……I don’t get answers even when I am crying out your name in despair…..why what I want for myself is so much against what you feel is good for me….am I supposed to accept in my life what you deal to me as your blessing…or should I still fight it out thinking foolishly that I am the one making my own destiny……only thing that has mattered most to me remains to be bestowed on me…..have got many other things to be happy about…for which I am happy and thankful and grateful for the generosity you have shown on me…but one thing that I want so desperately still remains a mirage…..

the pain builds up slowly and steadily at times and flares up like a dormant volcano at times….the breeze instead of caressing turns hostile, whispers in my ears there is still lot to endure till you find peace, the water pricks my body like needles lashing out to me for the crimes i committed unknowingly....crimes though committed unknowingly the hurt is there which is caused to others.....the thunder shouts you have to pay for whatever grief you have caused right here right now....there are no excuses...but i ask how is it my fault if i am misunderstood...if i am misinterpreted.....i never caused any harm to a single soul on purpose....i wonder then how much more....the sun i seek is hidden behind the clouds....feel no warmth in air.....the chill is creeping into my bones...am afraid of what tomorrow has in store for me......

dont know how to handle it except remembering you and i reassure myself that u love me too….that I am your child and u know whats happening to me…..that you are omnipresent….that you know whats best for me....but sometimes that does not work too…as my mind taunts my heart and its beliefs……the mind wants proof which the heart does not have……heart just has its faith and trust in you but it has been let down so many times, yet it keeps persevering ,stretching itself holding itself not to snap up……

the worst part is things are not in my hands, under my control…..i can do them only partially and the rest is for someone else to take it forward….so I do whats my job but then no one steps up take finish the task……and I keep doing my part over and over again waiting for the right person to step up and take the baton in his hands……take up the responsibility to see through the task….feel so helpless….i know you are busy and that there are people who need your attention more than I need for more important reasons…. but here I am, a small human in your vast creations awaiting my turn....

*********

i salute the authors of tragic books to be able to write the whole book.....as far as i am concerned this is as much tragic i can get.... my imagination didnt help me beyond this point.....got inspired from shubu's heathcliff post to write this one....guess i ll have to start attending shubu's lectures to come up with something better :)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

happy birthday mithila....

Today my kid sister is turns 22……I can’t believe it how fast she has grown up…I know I know she is just three years younger than me….but my birthday each year does not affect me as much as hers…..i cant digest that at the end of six months she is going to be a doctor……when did she grow up so fast I ask myself….its as if things happened behind my back ,and now I am caught unawares……
she is my best friend….our names "rhythm and mithila" feel as if joined....like they were always meant to be together......that one can't exist without the other....just can't imagine how life would have been without her....she has been with me through thick and thin ,giving me support even at times when I was wrong and things backfired…..she did not give me a smug “I told u so lecture” at those times and would be by my side and make me lie down in the comfort of her lap......at times she has been like an older sister I have always wanted…..and she has been like an elder sister at times when I didn’t want one too :)
she may look more mature than me…behave more mature than me but still for me she remains my little sister who I feel like sheltering from the world even though she does not need it and maybe at times she is better off without me……but a kind of maternal instinct rises in me when she is in trouble or when I feel she might end up hurt….once a friend of mine in college told me one of his friends wanted to get introduced to her and I was like “dude back off….bachhi hai vo…don’t even look at her ok”….
Still remember some of our wonderful childhood memories where her innocence touched me even back then…..she was in 3rd standard I think and was supposed to be drawing earth with tilted axis…..she would keep drawing the axis line straight so her diagram not come properly……then she came to me and asked “rhythm ,maru earth vaaku nathi thatu , enne vaaku kavi rite banavu "(rhythm ,my earth appears straight only ,how do I make it tilted) and I burst into laughter and told her that your earth will not appear tilted till you draw the line tilted……..this is one my all time favourite memory….
She is someone who understands me best even if my thinking may not always be same as hers…..and somehow I have this need in me to explain my point of view to her coz I cant bear it if she gets me wrong…..many a times we say something but we actually mean something else but between the two of us we understand what the other is actually wanting to say……..its hilarious at times…… in a lot of ways we are very different ,as different as north and south poles but I am sure of one thing that we will be by each others side when required to be…..
miss her a lot as she is hostel…..looking forward to December when she will get free and when she can come home more often….feeling bad I cant be with her on her special day……next year hopefully we shall be together and celebrate her 23rd birthday together……its been long since we have spent family events in each others company…..miss you darling…..have a wonderful birthday…eat black forest ice cream from mayura…….we will go for your birthday shopping when you come home for janmastami..
Don’t know how to end this post as I can keep going on and on about her…or about us….the special relationship we have shared for 22 years now……..just want to thank god for bringing her into my life……have loved her dearly since the day she was born ,even though I might not have realized it at that time…….WISHING YOU A VERY VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY…....MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS AND WISHES COME TRUE……..MUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Monday, August 4, 2008

the wedding vows....

Writing the seven wedding vows that are taken in hindu wedding cerermony….i think they are incredibly romantic and beautiful and touching and they cover all the possible corners….got two versions of them…..the core is the same but words slightly different…nevertheless writing both of them

The seven steps :

All your pleasures and all your pain ,you will divide with me…for where you are there I will be….i take this first step with you

Your family and its interests I will protect…where you are unhappy I will not be satisfied… I take this second step with you

Forever devoted to you and to religious duties I will be and to remain sweet and even tempered…. I take this third step with you…

I share your joys and sorrows…opposed to your oppressors I will remain…I will abide by your wishes…..i take this fourth step with you

I will await your physical needs and not engage with other in such deeds…. I take this fifth step with you

May this fire the spark of lord be witness ,I will be committed to honesty….never will I cheat on you either in words or in deed and this I honour in sixth step…

By health , in humane ,religious work I will be ready to lessen suffering and promote human good with this I take this seventh step with you….



The second version :

With the promise to nourish each other , I take this first step with you

With determination to grow together in strength physical , mental & spiritual , I take this second step with you

With the promise to preserve our wealth and prosperity , I take this third step with you

With the vow to serve you with happiness and harmony , I take this fourth step with you

With the promise to care for our healty and long lived children , I take this fifth step with you.

With the vow to be together in all responsibilities ,I take this sixth step with you.

With the promise of everlasting friendship and true companionship ,I take this seventh step with you